You have a message!
by killmeplx
Summary: You have 1 message: I predict an increasing amount of BL. Girls are encouraged to keep emergency tissue boxes.-Yaoi loving frypan. Eliza, Lilly and Kiku team up to match make all the stupid people who are obviously in love but can't read the atmosphere to save their life. How? Through hacking, of course! They might've taken it too far- USUK, spamano, pruhun and more
1. Chapter 1

**1 message. Yaoi_loving_frypan to lillies_r_lovely.**

 _I predict an increasing amount of BOY LOVE in the near future. Probably with the USUK factor. Girls are encouraged to keep emergency tissue boxs for eminent nose bleeds. ^v^._

* * *

Alfred F. Jones: Oh, Arthur, you make my heart beat fifty times a second. The look in your eyes turns me intk mush. When I'm around you, I can barely breathe . You are my sunshine. You are my world. Will you answer my dreams by meeting me in closet 616 for an impromptu make out session (and possibly more?)

Forever yours,

Alfred.

* * *

Lovino: the fuck?

Feliciano: Ohh~ romance~! Are thoes 2 dating now? Ve, I wish someone would say that about me!

Francis: Ohonhon~ May I join you 2? ;)

Mathew: Alf? You didn't tell me you & Art were going out...

Arthur: Alfred, if you were going to ask me something like this, you should have done this in a private email! Or preferably face to face. You wanker. And , no frog face, you may NOT join us.

Elizaveta: Meaning you accept his offer? ^.^

Arthur: Perphaps.

Arthur: It's none of your business anyhow.

Elizaveta: But it IS my business.

Arthur:?

Elizaveta: ^.^

Arthur: ?

Gilbert: Start the party, losers! Awesomeness has arrived!

Ludwig: Brother, you don't need to yell what you type.

Feliciano: Luddy!

Lovino: Leave, potato bastard. No one wants you here.

Feliciano: Don't be so mean!

Lovino: Go fuck yourself.

Gilbert: So, that aside, whats the happs?

Antonio: Alfred and Eyebrows just got together! :3 :3 :3

Lovino: You use too many emoticons.

Charlotte: And the cat face is my thing! X3

Gibert: Dude, you're upsetting the ladies, not cool! XP

Antonio: Sorry! :'(

Lovino: You calling me female?! You little...

Gilbert: Antonio, get a grip on your woman!

Antonio: Okay! ^.^

Lovino: I swear, potato sucker- and I am not his woman!

Kiku: Lovino, you are acting quite tsundere. May I take this as a sign of affection from you to Antonio? Please allow me to have my shipping moment.

Lovino: You're freaking weird. Feli, you have a horrible choice in friends.

Feliciano: But, lovi, you don't even know them!

Lovino: Nor do i want to! And don't call me lovi, damn it!

Toris: Am I the only one who didn't see this coming?

Charlotte: Pretty much! ; 3

Francis: The sexual tension was suffocating!

Feliks: It was, like, obvious, broski! They had love vibes! What I'd like to know is, when did Alfred get so smooth? ;D

Gilbert: Oh, please! I could be way better!

Roderich: To be frank, nobody cares, Gilbert.

Antonio: Don't worry, Torris, you're not the only one! I didn't get it either...:'(

Lovino: 'cuz you're stupid.

Antonio: Lovi~ So mean~

Lovino: Go to hell.

Mathew: Lovino, have you considered that you possibly swear too much?

Lovino: Fuck, you mean me? Fucking hell no! Bullshit.

Mathew: ...I see your point. ( honestly, I'm just glad someone acknowledged my message)

Antonio: Don't take this personally but... who are you?

Mathew: No offense taken! :) I'm Mathew Williams.

Antonio: Who?

Mathew: I'm the one who takes pictures for the school paper.

Antonio: Um...

Mathew: Alfred's brother?

Antonio: That loud American?

Mathew: Yes! :) I'm from Canada though...

Antonio: Canada?

Mathew: the country.

Antonio: Was it recently created or something...?

Mathew: Never mind...

Antonio: Okay! :D :D :D

* * *

 **lilies_R_ lovely to yaoi_ loving_frypan**

 _You were right! But was it just me, or was Alfred a bit off?_

 _But, of course, I've a sixth sense for BL! Was he? hmm...;)_

 _?_

 _Okay, I'll tell you! Promise not to tell anyone?_

 _You can trust me :)_

 _Alright... I wrote the message, I asked Kiku to hack Alfred's account. I also sent Alfred a message from Arthur's phone!_

 _Vetta..._

 _What? I'm Matchmaking! Those 2 NEED to sort this out! Besides, I got video cameras installed in closet 616. Wannna watch a live stream with me and Kiku? You know you want to ;)_

 _I know I shouldn't...but I really want to...um...Fine! Show me!_

 _Atta, girl! Here's the link:__

 _Watch link? Yes._

* * *

 _A/N: Well that was fun to write! This supposed to be a 1000 word chapter but... yeah... I know it's short. The chapters will get bigger as the story progresses. I'm thinking this will have around 7 chapters but we'll see. Also, the story won't ENTIRELY be text, some parts won't but the bulk will. I wanted to try this style (It makes me feel lazy) but I didn't want to use text speak because I know how annoying it can be. And I'm a noob at that so..._

 _Also, pairings!_

 _UKUS_

 _SPAMANO_

 _NETHCAN_

 _PRUHUN_

 _SUFIN_

 _POSSIBLY DENNOR_

 _and more..._


	2. Chapter 2

_Watch link? Yes._

The black screen opened up to a stuffy, dimly lit closet Arthur Kirkland, stiff and neat as ever leaning against the back wall. If you listened closely, you could hear him grumbling, "bloody wanker. Who does he think he is? Making me wait after sending hat message. I swear, I'll. .."

A few moments later and Alfred burst through the door, proclaiming loudly, "I'm here! Sorry I'm late but-" he was cut off by Arthur, grabbing his jacket and passionately pushing their lips together. A few seconds of conveying emotions and they broke away, breathless.

"Well," Alfred heaved, grinning like a fool, "you're eager."

"Oh, shut it," Arthur mumbled, his hands still clutching the front of the American's jacket.

"Now," when his breathe evened out, Arthur continued, "to business. Why the hell did you write that letter?"

"What email? "Alfred looked completely confused.

Arthur went on, undettered, "If you wanted to do something like you do it privately. Understand? "

"Um. Okay," Alfred decided to just go along with it. A few moments of tense silence filled the air, Arthur frowned deeper with every passing second. Alfred may have been dumb at a lot of things but, if anything, he sure as hell knew Arthur. So, "What's wrong? I know there's something. "

Arthur shook his head, "it's just- I think my brother suspects something about us."

Alfred's ears perked up, he leaned in, closer, "you think?"

"Mm- we need to keep a low profile," Arthur's green eyes looked straight into his, " you realise how important it is to keep our relationship a secret, don't you?"

"Of course, "Alfred whispered back, pecking him chastely, "Now come on," he said, louder, "let's get out if this dusty closet! "

Arthur snorted, "you picked it."

"Yeah, yeah," Alfred waved his hand dismissively and opened the door, "let's just go already."

* * *

 **Lillies_r_lovely to Yaoi_loving_frypan**

 _Real life yaoi! 8D_

 _he said secret relations. SECRET RELATIONSHIP._

 _I know~!_

 _does this mean my ship is canon?_

 _canon?_

 _I'll explain later- :D KYAAH~ Im so happy!...but why keep their relationship a secret? Our school isn't exactly filled with homaphobes._

 _Maybe Arthurs shy?_

 _Maybe. But I don't think so. We'll have to figure it out. On a side note, how cool was this?!_

 _Very! :) I wish we could do it again._

 _Maybe we can! ;)_

 _Vetta :(_

 _Come on! It's not like we did any harm! And, anyhow, if Arthur and Alfred weren't already together, they would have totally go on by now! Just think of all the boy love we can create!_

 _That's true! We could put a lot of oblivious people gogether!_

 _exactly! :D And y'know, we're just helping them along! The feelings are already their's._

 _and we'll watch?_

 _but of course! ;D We don't work for free!_

 _hehe~ this' ll be fun!_

 _it will! Now, I'll contact kiku and the three of us will work on the shipings together!_

 _shippings?_

 _Okay, I need to get you aquainted with fandom termanology._

* * *

Elizaveta Herdevey+Kiku Honda+Lili Zingwili are online via private chat.

Elizaveta: So who's our first lucky victim?

Lily:Victim? Hehe~ i feel like we're evil ^_^"

Elizaveta: you'll get use to it eventually.

Kiku: Elizaveta-san is correct. The guilt will fade with time.

Lily:O-okay-

Elizaveta: So, to buisness- nyone in mind? Someone easy and obvious.

Kiku: I have the perfect match-Berwald+ Tino= DOKI DOKI LUV!

Lily: Yes, please, they are SO CUTE togrther~

Elizaveta: They're adorable- plus getting them together will be simple. We'll re-do opperation:USUK.

Kiku: except this will be opperation Sufin.

Lily: So...what do we do?

Elizavetta: First, Kiku'll hack Tino's account-let's do this one privately- 'cus y'know... it's Berwald-

Kiku: Understood. And the message?

Elizavetta: I'll handle that!

Lily: And me?

Elizaveta: Send a text to Tino. Write that teacher wants to speak to him at the back, behind the school, alone.

Lily: Gotcha.

Elizaveta: Everone ready?

Kiku: Affirmative.

Lily: Yup! :D

Elizaveta: Then let's start!

* * *

Your friend **Felix** posted a picture!

Feliciano: OMG! -squeals-

Gilbert: No freaking way!

Rachel: Way!

Kiku: Is that...?

Charlote: It is X3

Antonio: Hey, Lovi, if I asked REALLY nicely-

Lovino: Yeah, not after I'm fracking dead.

Antonio: Wait- WHAT?! DON'T DIE, LOVI!

Lovino: It's an expression, Idota. You know what? Never you fucking mind.

Antonio: Good. becuz-

Lovino: No one wants to hear it.

Eduard: If I close my eyes enough, will this disappear.

Lukas: It won't. I've tried. I would try a spell but a certain someone destroyed my ingredients. Everyone blame him.

Mathias: Who uses Chocolate in spells?!

Lukas: I do.

Mathias: 's not my fault! =3=

Lukas: The label said do not eat.

Mathias: I defy labels!

Lukas...that doesn't make sense.

Mathias: You MOM!

Lukas: ...never mind-

Giselle: Odd. I thought Francis would be all over this by now.

Francis: Did my ears deceive me? Or did I hear angel lips whisper my name.

Giselle: TYPED. And you didn't answer the question.

Francis: details, details -sigh- Which question?

Giselle: Your thoughts?

Francis: Hm?

Giselle: ON THE PICTURE. (I'm beginning to lose patience)

Francis: Mademoiselle, I am offended! We all know I have better taste than that~ ;D

Gilbert: Yeah, NO. Sorry, Francy Pants!

Feliks: So, like, what did you think of my smokin' hot picture?

Arthur: Mr. Infamous arrived.

Alfred: Dude, don't know how to say this, but you make a pretty good drag queen! XP

Arthur: Ahem.

Alfred: No need to be jealous, Art. You'd make a pretty good drag queen, yourself.

Arthur: You WANKER! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!

Feliks: So- lover's spat aside, what do you guys think?

Arthur: WE ARE NOT LOVERS!

Charlotte: And yesterday was~? ;3

Arthur: A prank

Feliciano: Prettiest cross dresser I've ever seen!

Lovino: Eh-

Antonio: I say follow your heart, Amigo!

Elizaveta: I agree. If you like cross-dressing, Feliks, than who says you can't?!

Gilbert: Heh- that brings up some memories; eh, Vetta?

Elizaveta: Shut up! Or I'll make you!

Gilbert: You don't scare me ;P

Elizavetta: I remember something else!

Gilbert: THAT WAS DIFFERENT.

Elizaveta: You CRIED.

Gilbert: Second grade, 'nuff said.

Elizaveta: You still cried.

Feliks: What do you think, Toris?

Toris: Um, I think it looks good!

Feliks: only GOOD?

Toris: Erm- Great! Amazing!

Feliks: Really?

Toris: Really!

Feliks: Aw-

Feliks: Girls be jealous! I've got the best!

Lovino: Right. (*note: sarcasm, for the stupid people)

* * *

 _Elizaveta Herdevey+Kiku Honda+Lili Zingwili are online via private chat._

Elizaveta: The message-

 _Dear Su-san,_

 _I've had feelings for you for a very long time. I'd confess now but.. I'd like to do it in person._ _Tomorrow, behind the school, I'll open my heart to you. I'll be waiting,_

 _Love Tino_

Lily: Very nice, 'Vetta!

Elizaveta: Thanks! I tried to keep it IC while DereDere!

Lily: More words-

Kiku: Elizaveta-san, Lily-san I think you should look at this-

 **Kiku reposted a message from Arthur Kirkland**

 _You are all invited to my Father's wedding to Alison Jones, better known to you lot as Alfred's Mother, Whether or not you attend is up to you. This is just a formality. Alfred and I would appreciate your presence though. Do what you will,_

 _Arthur Kirkland_

Elizaveta: Well, crap.

* * *

 _A/N_

 _Charlotte: Belgium_

 _Eduard: Estonia_

 _Lily: Lichtenstein_

 _Lukas: Norway_

 _Matihas: Denmark_

 _Berwald: Sweden_

 _Finland: Tino_

 _I think that covers the not so obvious ones-_ _Any questions? Tell me!_

 _This chappie is for all those who gave me feedback in the first one!_

 _Remember, feedback is loved! :D_


	3. Chapter 3

Elizavetta was crouched down behind a bush, camcord held in her hand. Her green eyes continued to scan the area and, when she couldn't find what she was looking for, she bit her lip, "Where the hell are they?!" She hissed impatiently.

"Patience, Elizavetta-san," Kiku told her tactfully from the left, "they'll be here soon."

"Yeah, Vetta!" Lily chirped from her right, " And it'll definitely be worth the wait."

Despite their reassurances, the Hungarian sighed irritably. They'd been waiting forever. Next time they did this, and their WOULD be a next time, they wouldn't come so early.

"Stupid, Kiku." She muttered.

"We could have missed some yaoi action," Kiku protested, offended.

Before Elizavetta could respond, there was a deafening rustle, the three eaves droppers straightened their posture and stood still, watching with interest.

Berwald stood in the middle of the grassy clearing, his hands crossed over his chest protectively, looking almost... vulnerable. Lily and Vetta resisted the urge to fangirl. "Feigned indifference, " Kiku mused, looking indifferent himself but for the stalkerish, somewhat perverted, glint in his eye.

The next fifteen minutes were goddamn torture for the onlookers and Berwald himself. They would have died of anticipation but didn't because, lo and behold, there was Tino looking confused and flustered with a sheepish smile on his face.

"Oh hello, mister Sve," Tino started nervously.

At first glance, there was no change in Berwald's demeanor except to the trained eyes of the three perverts.

"Tino," Berwald said meaningfully, "Before you say anything, I need to tell you how I feel."

Tino took a step back, eyes widening, cheeks flushing. Berwald grasped both of Tino's hands in his.

The three eavesdroppers flushed, anticipating yaoi action with sparkling eyes.

* * *

Lily: That went well :D

Elizavetta: Extremely well ;D

Kiku: I agree #jsdfhj

Lily: ?

Kiku: Forgive me, Lily san; it's Japanese.

Lily: ? ^-^"

Elizavetta:...

Lily:...

Kiku:...

Lily:...

Elizavetta:...

Lily: So- why are cats cute?

Elizavetta: Damn it, Lily! I was trying to build suspense! *huffs*

Lily: S-sorry.

Kiku: *.* MOE.

Elizavetta wAh- you're so cute! Of course I forgive you! *glomps*

Lily: ehehe ^v^"

Elizavetta: So, to the point, people-

Kiku: UKUS = ?

Lily: Yeah, what are we gonna do?

Elizavetta: We could break up their parents-

Lily: NO, 'Vetta.

Kiku: I reluctantly agree with Lily. Common moral law is against it.

Elizavetta: I know but- think of Alfred & Arthur. All those secret looks, the subtle brushing of hands. We SAW it. They're in love DAMNIT.

Kiku: It is unfortunate.

Lily:... yeah... it makes you feel bad.

Elizavetta: ...are you sure we can't?

Kiku: Elizavetta-san!

Elizavetta: The world is cruel.

Lily: So that's it? We just leave them?

Kiku: There is no other option, it would seem.

Lily: ...I guess so...

Elizavetta: We can do one thing.

Kiku: That is?

Elizavetta: Spread love.

Kiku: Please explain further.

Elizavetta: There isn't enough love i the world. Well, there is, but people are just too dense. We need to show the world that love can shine through! And maybe, just maybe, Alfred and Arthur will see there is a way and find their own happy ending.

Lily: Nice speech, 'Vetta! :D

Kiku: Yes, very motivational. We can spread love.

Lily: Together.

Elizavetta: You guys... :')

Elizavetta: Okay, let's make a pact.

Lily: To spread love.

Elizavetta: For UKUS.

Kiku: operation ship the world!

* * *

 **Your friend, Tino is in a relationship with Berwald.**

Charlotte: An other obvious couple now together.

Katyusha: Who's the other one?

Charlotte: Alfred and Art- oh, yeah.

Rachel: Disapointing, isn't it?

Charlotte: Very.

Rachel: Maybe we read it wrong? Maybe they were just really great friends?

Charlotte: Maybe -sigh-

Feliks: OMG! Stop being, like, so depressing and be happy for the new couple. They deserve it.

Toris: Feliks...

Feliks: What?! You KNOW I'm right.

Charlotte: He is, though.

Rachel: Yeah, at least Tino and Berwald got together

Felix: Exactly my point! Now, back to the important part, I'LL be the first to give my congratulations to the new couple.

Kayusha: Congratulations you two!

Rachel: Yeah, congats!

Charlotte: I'll make waffles to celebrate!

Mathew: and I'll bring mapel syrup.

Feliks: *ahem*...and you are?

Charlotte: He's Alfred's brother, Mathew.

Feliks: and you know this because...?

Charlotte: secret. ;3

Feliks: There isn't a secret in this town that I don't know yet.

Charlotte: Well, now there is! ;3

Tino: Thanks for the congratulations everyone! I honestly didn't know you guys would care so much!

Charlotte: Of course we care! *virtual hug*

Rachel: I like the idea of celebrating though.

Charlotte: yeah, we could all bring something.

Francis: As a toast to the new couple, I say we do at my house! The wine will be magnifique I assure you.

Ivan: And I will bring voldka, da?

Raivis: A-alcholal? Aren't we underage?

Felix: Oh, don't be such a spoils sport!

Feliks: I call dibs on polish pastries! They are de best.

Mathew: I'll help with the waffles, if that's okay with you, Charlotte?

Charlotte: But of course it is~ :3

Feliciano: Great idea! We'll bring pasta!

Lovino: don't make promises on my behalf.

Gilbert: Me and West will bring ze awesome beer!

Ludwig: It's "west and I"

Ludwig: Also, I'm not letting you smuggle beer again.

Gilbert: What am I? British? I'm Prußen, loser!

Gilbert: Also, you're NOT the boss of me.

Feli: Ve? I thought you 2 were German!

Gilbert: Shows what you know! I have PRUßIEN blood in me, don't I west?

Ludwig: I'm not going to be sucked into this.

Roderich: Typical.

Gilbert: And what does that mean?!

Roderich: Again, typical. One would think that you would have learned a little English by now.

Gilbert: Why I ought to-

Elizavetta: Roderich, don't pick on him. Gilbert, shut it. Tino & Berwald, CONGRATS AND I TOTES CALLED IT.

Tino:...Thank you?

Berwald: Tino, stay way from her.

Elizavetta: what-?! WHY?! T^T

Berwald: because y're disturbing.

Elizavetta: D-d-disturbing?!

Felix: *Diva snap*

Gilbert: Pffft-

Francis: I'm afaid we cannot disagree there, mon ami.

Lovino: You're batshit crazy.

Feliciano: you can get scary sometimes.

Elizavetta: I FEEL SO UNLOVED.

Felicano: But-but we love you!

Lily: I wuvv you ^.^

Kiku: Hai. We do.

Felixs: you're not, like, that bad.

Elizavetta: *crys tears of joy* YOU GUYS!

Matihas: So, putting whatever THAT was aside, you guys have our full suport, right Norge?

Mathias: Norge?

Mathias: Hello, Norge?

Mathias: OI, NORGE.

Lukas: what.

Mathias: your support.

Lukas: what about it.

Mathias: Are you friggen kidding me-? Okay, CHECK PREVIOUS MEASSAGE.

Lukas:...

Lukas: yes, right. They do.

Mathias: Could you sound any more like a machine?

Lukas: Could you be any more annoying?

Berwald: quiet.

Felixs: You 2 need to, like, chill~

Elizavetta: I smell hate/love! MUHAHAHAHA

Lovino: #disturbing

Eduard: does any one else notice how weird we are? We don't have a single normal person in this group...

* * *

 **Lily Zingwili + Elizavetta Hedervey + Kiku Honda via private chat.**

Kiku: I here by nominate DenNor.

Elizavetta: Oh~ Me likey~ I want ger ita!

Kiku: Oh, most definitely! Any suggestions, Lily-san.

Lily: I have a certain couple in mind ;D

Elizavetta: Okay, so we now have our first "assignments". Now, let the shipping battle begin!

Kiku: operation ship the world!

* * *

 _AlN: Hello, all. Hope you're not TOO mad at my lateness. EXCUSES: I rote it once, it got deleted. Wrote it again, got deleted. Wrote it three times, messed it up. I've done what I can. Tell me if there are any mistakes._

 _I wasn't too happy with this chapter but it was necessary and believe me, the next chapter will make up for that. Also, if it wasn't clear before, last chapter, Felix posted a pic of himself crossdressing_

 _On another note, I feel I should wan you things are about to get DRAMATIC. Also, this story will feature quite a bit of family, friendship, angst and comfort along with romance. Next chapter; Alfred and Arthur's parents wedding._

 _Review, follow, favorite, please_


	4. Chapter 4

Church _hall, the wedding._

A clamor of hushed whispers filled the church till it was saturated. There wasn't a spot in the room that wasn't decorate. Bows upon bows, frills upon frills, like a tasteless Disney dress. Alfred's mom sure knew how to pick 'em. Now, if only she would pick a different husband.

Everyone was there, even the freaky, sociopathic , _"One of these days I'm going to rip off your vital regions'"_ guys like Ivan and Lukas.

Some were giggling, some were indifferent and _some_ were USUK fans that were getting seriously pissed off.

Elizavetta Hedervary sat daintily in her green dress, representing everything she was not, plastic smile on her lips, an outraged look in her eyes. There was just the hint of doomed love in the air, if you had the nose for it. And, _damn,_ Elizavetta did.

Lily shifted uncomfortably in her seat and Kiku's face held a concerned expression. The groups continual banter did nothing to ease her nerves.

 _However..._

Elizavetta turned around in her seat and her eyes brightened slightly. Behind them, Tino and Berwald were not-so-subtly holding hands. Elizavetta nudged Kiku lightly for him to turn around. Consequently, came Lily's excited, muffled squeal.

A few discreet clicks and Eliza knew photos had been taken. She turned back around, feelings somewhat acquiesced. It was nice to know that her work meant something.

Unfortunately, her satisfaction was short-lived as a few minutes later the groom appeared and the bride appeared like it was her day. Elizavetta took in the look in their eyes and almost growled. _Cupid was a freakin' menace sometimes._ She knew at once that, even if they were in a grimy alley, as long as they were getting married, they'd be just as happy.

With an air of finality, the couple said their vows, the crowd cheered and the wedding bells rang, a deafening sound.

The Congratulations was almost as loud. Elizavetta sat still and waited. After the noise had died down some and the people had filed a line towards outside, she rose as did Lily and Kiku and made their way to Alfred and Arthur.

The two were sitting, forlorn, on the side, talking in hushed whispers to Mathew. Elizavetta heard a comforting "It's gonna be okay." as she neared. Her expert eye caught sight of their discreetly intertwined fingers.

"Congratulations," she told them mildly. They nodded with grateful looking smiles.

"Yo, losers." Gilbert yelled abruptly from across the room, successfully destroying the peace, "The party is _outside._ "

Elizavetta's face colored and she felt more than a trickle of anger. "Be more fucking respectful! You're in a fucking church!"

Alfred let out a chuckle while Arthur shook his head, "Typical. I should have never invited those guys."

The three began to make their way out but Kiku stopped and turned, eyebrows knitted, "Will you two not be joining us?"

Alfred waved his hand at him, "Nah, you guys go on ahead. We need a little time."

Lily looked inquisitively at Elizavetta, who only smiled sadly and whispered, "Let them have them."

The three continued out of the the church without looking back.

When they were sure they were alone, Alfred and Arthur's mask fell. They kissed like there would be no tomorrow, eyes holding unshed tears. Their hands held on desperately because tomorrow they couldn't, they just couldn't. All the while, the church bells sounded, a death sentence.

* * *

 _You have 16 text messages from Ludwig_ _Beldischmidt_ _._

 _Sunday,_ _11:48: Hey, East, when are you coming home? Hurry. Lunch is almost ready._

 _Sunday, 12:04: Seriously, if you don't come home soon, I'm going to eat it without you._

 _Sunday, 12:27: You were too late. I ate it._

 _Sunday, 12:30: No, I didn't. There's leftovers in the fridge. Hurry up already._

 _Sunday, 1:11: I'm going to Feliciano's house, his brother isn't there so I don't have to fear for my life this time. Just so you don't starve; remember: There. Are. Leftovers. In. The. Fridge._

 _Sunday, 1:42: Did you go home?_

 _Sunday, 3:19: There's no mess which clearly means you didn't. If you've been drinking remember to eat something. I don't want to clean after you hurl today._

 _Sunday, 3:58: You aren't with Francis or Antonio, I already checked, so who are you with?_

 _Sunday, 4:37: Don't get arrested again._

 _Sunday, 5:46: You know what? I don't care. I'm going to eat this huge, juicy wurst without you._

 _Sunday, 7:52: Now I'm just getting annoyed._

 _Sunday, 8:45: Gilbert, Act like your age for once and get your immature but home._

 _Sunday, 9:04: Are you hurt or something? You can tell me anything. You know that._

 _Sunday, 9:07: Or are you mad at me? If that's the case, I know for a fact that I haven't done anything wrong so you can forget an apology._

 _Sunday, 9:42: I'm going to bed. Dinner in the fridge. 'Night._

* * *

 ** _You have a call from Vash Zwingli._**

 ** _Accept? Decline?_**

 ** _Accept._**

"Hello?"

"Um, Hi Elizavetta."

"Vash? Is that you?"

"Yeah..."

"That's wonderful! I haven't seen you in ages... In fact, I would go as far as to say you were _avoiding me."_

"I-I was not! I-I was just b-busy!"

"I'm sure you were. That's why you ran the opposite direction when we bumped into each other in School last Friday."

"..."

"Well~"

"... You win. I've been avoiding you."

"Vash, the first thing you need to realize is that I'm _always_ win. The second is that _no one_ avoids Elizavetta Hedervary. Unless, of course, I dislike them. Then, I prefer it. And I do not dislike you."

"...right."

"So, Vash~ How's everything been going with Roderich?"

"...I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, come _on_! It even says so on your facebook relationship status!"

"Look, Elizavetta, I didn't mean- "

"Wait just a second there, Hun. There's something else you need to realize; I'm not mad."

"... You're...not?"

"Nope~ Roderich and I weren't working out in the first place; too many differences and we just didn't have the chemistry. We parted as friends. He's like my brother now."

"Thank you, Elizavetta. To be honest, it's a big relief."

"It's fine, Hun~ In fact I'm very, _very_ supportive of your relationship."

"...yeah."

"So tell me straight, who is the seme-"

"Listen, Elizavetta, the real reason I called you was because of my sister."

"Lily?"

"Yeah, she's been acting weird lately."

"Weird _how?"_

"I don't know- really quiet, holed up in her room, that sort of thing."

'"hmmm.. I see, I'll confront her about it, don't you worry."

"thank you. A lot. Honestly"

"Don't worry about it! In fact, right now, I'm answering another worried siblings plea."

"You are?"

"Yup. Gotta go now, Vash, talk to you later, m'kay?"

"Yeah, sure, bye."

"Bye."

Elizavetta turned off her phone then resumed walking to her original destination.

She thought briefly about Lily's strange behavior, "Must've been because our USUK ship sunk." She mused sadly.

But back to the task at hand...

Her eyes scanned for the white hair, or the familiar unorthodox purple eyes. Elizavetta gave an internal cheer when she found what she was looking for. She called out, her voice startling him, "Hey, Gilbert!"

* * *

 _A/N: More funnies in the next chapter. R &R_


End file.
